It was so easy when I was a young man and had no responsibilities I could just grab some clothes and drive off with no set destination. I think it comes from when Dad was in the service we did move quite a bit so I was bitten young by the appeal of the traveling, moving.
Even as i got older into my forties if I wanted to take off I would, just go. Now it has come to this crossroad and I already know what my decision will be.
I will find a place down south where its warm and that's where I'll retire to. My traveling days are over as I used to know them and now I'm planning on finding a place to live out my days.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
I can't save the world (But I Want To)
Jumping into a big pile of freshly raked autumn leaves is one of those memories that comes with smells and sounds. The crunching leaves and that earthy musky smell that seemed to spell the coming of winter and the passing of summer.
As I was out walking my new dog Baxter you could feel the changing season it was all around us and filled every sense.
Baxter
And that started me thinking of the changes I'm going through how my seasons are changing how its all around me and how it fills all me senses. Everyday its more painful and walking at times can be a real chore.
I'm finding at times I have to coax myself into getting out of bed or even to get up to walk to the bathroom, it fucking hurts! This is happening way to soon and I'm having trouble coming to terms with the fact that I will be in a wheel chair and much sooner than anyone thought.
My daily narcotic pain medication dose is still the same but I am using more cannabis and need to get a vaporizer. Going from one gram a day to two to four I can really notice how that much smoking is not good for me.
For your doubters out there cannabis works for me to control break through pain with-out needing to increase the narcotic pain medication.
Need to come to terms with this. I need to sit down and rationally look forward as best I can and make plans for how I'm going to deal with being in a wheel chair for the remainder of my life. I understand people are dealing with this also and by no means am I trying to lessen the impact on them compared to me, it sucks for all of us.
Fifty two years old and i don't feel like it even being hurt I only feel like I'm in my mid thirties. Sure there's day's when i feel old but everyone has those days and we get through them and that's what I have to do is get through the bad day's.
As I was out walking my new dog Baxter you could feel the changing season it was all around us and filled every sense.
Baxter
And that started me thinking of the changes I'm going through how my seasons are changing how its all around me and how it fills all me senses. Everyday its more painful and walking at times can be a real chore.
I'm finding at times I have to coax myself into getting out of bed or even to get up to walk to the bathroom, it fucking hurts! This is happening way to soon and I'm having trouble coming to terms with the fact that I will be in a wheel chair and much sooner than anyone thought.
My daily narcotic pain medication dose is still the same but I am using more cannabis and need to get a vaporizer. Going from one gram a day to two to four I can really notice how that much smoking is not good for me.
For your doubters out there cannabis works for me to control break through pain with-out needing to increase the narcotic pain medication.
Need to come to terms with this. I need to sit down and rationally look forward as best I can and make plans for how I'm going to deal with being in a wheel chair for the remainder of my life. I understand people are dealing with this also and by no means am I trying to lessen the impact on them compared to me, it sucks for all of us.
Fifty two years old and i don't feel like it even being hurt I only feel like I'm in my mid thirties. Sure there's day's when i feel old but everyone has those days and we get through them and that's what I have to do is get through the bad day's.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Changes in the stars
With the mid-term elections over and the hangover just starting to be felt by some I took it upon myself to question some of my friends who voted outside of their normal party line why they did so in such an important election.
The answer I received was not a new one matter of fact it was stale; "big government is the problem and the GOP and Tea Party will reign in the uncontrolled spending" doubtful. All I foresee over the next two years is gridlock of an unprecedented nature.
Tea Party and GOP members who were elected are already speaking on how they will repeal the health-care bill and stop any new unemployment benefits from being paid-out.
Two million Americans are on the brink of financial ruin and homelessness if the Tea Party and GOP have their way.
When President Obama made his inauguration speech he said and I'm para-phrasing; "it will take time to recover and things could even get worse because of the unprecedented financial situation that is affecting the entire worlds economy".
And it got worse and then we found out why and who caused it but yet people went on to blame President Obama and in doing so vote in the people who for the most part caused the financial problems and benefited or will benefit the most.
I will be busy over the next two years keeping an eye on the newly elected and make sure they follow through with they have promised, President Obama did.
And before I close out I have two questions for Tea Party members and GOP candidates who were elected.
Since both parties are firmly against any kind of government welfare and hand outs will you all refuse to accept free government health-care coverage and pay for it out of your pocket like the average American does, you know, the ones you say you represent.
The answer I received was not a new one matter of fact it was stale; "big government is the problem and the GOP and Tea Party will reign in the uncontrolled spending" doubtful. All I foresee over the next two years is gridlock of an unprecedented nature.
Tea Party and GOP members who were elected are already speaking on how they will repeal the health-care bill and stop any new unemployment benefits from being paid-out.
Two million Americans are on the brink of financial ruin and homelessness if the Tea Party and GOP have their way.
When President Obama made his inauguration speech he said and I'm para-phrasing; "it will take time to recover and things could even get worse because of the unprecedented financial situation that is affecting the entire worlds economy".
And it got worse and then we found out why and who caused it but yet people went on to blame President Obama and in doing so vote in the people who for the most part caused the financial problems and benefited or will benefit the most.
I will be busy over the next two years keeping an eye on the newly elected and make sure they follow through with they have promised, President Obama did.
And before I close out I have two questions for Tea Party members and GOP candidates who were elected.
Since both parties are firmly against any kind of government welfare and hand outs will you all refuse to accept free government health-care coverage and pay for it out of your pocket like the average American does, you know, the ones you say you represent.
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